How having children ruined my business dreams

Jan 12, 2015

Topic: Business, Personal
Time Investment: 5 Minutes
Suggested Product:  All-in-One Contract Bundles


I remember the day that I realized my children had ruined my business dreams.

Shattered. Torn.

Nothing like I had envisioned.  

I was sitting at my desk during law school, trying to run a photography business, be a mom, be a wife, and just survive the day.  I remember thinking “This is absolutely nothing like I wanted my business to be.” And it wasn’t.

If you don’t know me, I have five kids.  Yes – the person who never wanted kids has almost half a dozen. I didn’t want to give up “my” life to have to cater to someone else’s.  I had dreams. I had goals. And kids didn’t fit into that vision.

Then I had the first kid, then the second. And my business dreams were shattered.

No longer did I have the view of just last-minute packing and jetting off to some travel location.  Gone were the visions of having hours on end to sit down and bang out a new book manuscript.  Vanished were the ideas of having a high-volume of clients that can go into the community and grow my business for me.  It was all gone. Shattered.

And it has been the best thing ever that could have happened to me and to my business.

Yes, I have to schedule my life. I have to limit myself. But I am in control of that.

The funny part is I never started my business until I already had one child.  I started business consulting (pre-law school) in 2007 when I was hit with my cancer and realized that I wanted to help others.  But I had held onto these preconceived ideas of business ownership that I developed pre-kids.  Those ideas were long gone.

But guess what? I may limit my client list, I may limit the times I can run over to the studio and office to work.  But I don’t limit my ability. My desire. My growth.

Everyone’s situation is different.  So many times I hear from other business owners how they just “don’t have time” “don’t have resources” “don’t know what to do”.  Yes you do – you just told me – exactly what you need.


Schedule your time better or find a way to outsource tasks that are time-sucks.


Identify what you can cut out and what you can expand.  Cutting down on some costs can free up funds to that can circle back up to expanding your time (i.e. outsourcing).


Find a direction through community with other small business owners that have similar life circumstances.  If you are having trouble balancing mother-life with business-life – you need to find a mentor that is in the same situation.

 So yes – my business dreams are ruined. shattered. and they are better than I could have ever, ever imagined.

I have a real-life connection with my clients.

They are moms.

They are business owners.

Instead of superficial connections we can have real talks during our relationship that have a lasting impact. Almost every single one of my photography clients have become a real-life part of my daily life.

They have become my friends.  

That has nothing to do with my branding colors, logo, or tag line.  This has to do with your life situation. Am I saying you have to have kids to connect with clients?

No way.

You don’t have to have a pet that is the cornerstone of your marketing persona either. (Although I love my #archerb if you follow me on Instagram).  You just need to take the personal situation you are in and use it to develop the connection with your clients.  Perhaps this is a full-time 9-5 job that limits your availability and taxes your energy.

Work with it.  

Let your life situation shatter your pre-conceived ideas of dreams.  Let it turn your business to be better than anything you could ever write on paper or talk about with a mentor.

So I look at my kids and want to say “thank you for shattering my dreams. They are better than I ever imagined they could be.  I have a business but more importantly, I have a life.

Are you a mom struggling with business goals after children?

Are you a single-person saddled with a career that is hindering your growth?

Or are you just feeling like life circumstances are in the way?


P.S. There are a limited number of SugarSnaps Bundles (autographed book + camera toy) available right now – this new children’s book is written by yours truly for photographers and their children! 

P.P.S. The SugarSnaps Bundles are SOLD OUT, but you can still order the book (and my other books) here.


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